Set Backs

Have you "broken" a new rule, lost the motivation to complete the course, or have you not been able to add the frequent monitoring of your finances to your routine?

Maybe, it was really alarming for you when you took that deep dive into your bank account. If any of this speaks to you, read on my friend!

Honestly, it really took me years of trial and error to develop a method that actually works.

I have always made spreadsheets, updating our fixed expenses and personal income regularly. To be exact I started in 2015 and in preparation for our first child.

Creating that spread sheet was fairly simple, what was tough was tracking our non-fixed expenses, changing old habits and remaining discipline. That was really overwhelming at first.

And it took me nearly 5 years to figure that out, and put in the work.

I had to acknowledge some of my unnecessary splurges, and lack of financial presence and understanding that contributed to my anxiety and stress over money.

If you have looked back at your past 3 months of spending and felt any crappy feeling like shame, frustration, confusion, anger...the list goes on, you are not alone.

In this situation practice self-compassion, this is a learning opportunity and it is not meant to make you miserable. You cannot change your past actions but you can set your financial boundaries and goals moving forward.

It might take a few attempts to find your "groove" and remain discipline but that's still progress.

You may also periodically break your own rules in a moment of weakness, or sometimes you just forget you're on a budget. This has happened to me.

How do I personally manage this?

In the beginning I avoided entering retail stores and online shopping. I needed to exercise discipline first, and visually see the benefits of its practice.

Over the months, it felt nice to see my account stay in the "black". Seeing the credit debt dwindle down to ZERO and eventually building and stabilizing a monthly savings.

When I first started to visit retail stores again, I'd actually come out with nothing sometimes. If it wasn't something the family needed, I knew that I could live without it.

I felt like a total boss.

Nowadays I do spurge a little, but only when I financially can and I am comfortable doing so.

So now that I got out of the soul sucking turmoil of living in overdraft "protection"....more like financial prison, I will budget my shopping trip and I give myself time.

I check my spreadsheet and miscellaneous expenses I have made this month. If my budget is looking good and I have enough money for our family's needs (groceries, gas, upcoming fixed expenses), I set aside a budget for my shopping trip. I also make a note of things I am looking to purchase like; clothes, books, cookware, gardening things etc.

Side note: always include an amount for contingency/emergency fund or cash cushion, whatever you like to call it, because things do pop up. This will help ensure you stay out of overdraft or using credit to fill the gap between receiving payroll/income.

Just recently I wanted some new clothes (notice how I said "wanted" and not "needed"). I checked my spreadsheet prior to leaving the house, gave myself a budget for shopping, and lunch at a restaurant. I stuck to it and I didn't felt guilty because I was prepared and in control.

The second thing I practice to help manage spending is making time.

I find when I am rushing; I make irrational decisions about spending. Buying things I think I need, only to have it sit in the shopping bag on the kitchen floor for a month.

To avoid this, I try as much as possible to have someone (usually the husband) watch the kids so I don't feel the pressure to rush.

I am sharing my experiences in hopes that it resonates with others. Remember set-backs are temporary and not permanent.

The most important thing is that you show up and do the work. Acknowledge your set back without judgement and move on.

You will find your balance too. You Got This!

Here's a link back to the course "Become the CEO of Your Bank Account"

https://www.bogitsblog.com/post/become-the-ceo-of-your-bank-account